The perks of NOT showing up unannounced or
by Blaney
Summary: ...How some of the avengers got their asses kicked by a baby Spider. (Tales from the Spider-verse.) Reader's requested prompt, Natasha takes Peter under her wing. The Rogue avengers being pardoned go back early. Nat and Pete doing their nightly security sweep. Peter takes out the team. As Nat watches and then they head to bed. Leaving them webbed up until the morning.


This is a requested prompt from a reader over at AO3 frozenchaos9

Prompt: Post-civil war Natasha stayed with Tony and she took the baby spider under her wings.

Peter and Natasha are patrolling the compound making sure everyone is safe before heading to bed when Peter who is crawling on the ceiling suddenly stops and rushes to somewhere and Natasha runs after Peter she finds Peter putting the newly pardoned rogue avengers into web cocoons.

Natasha watching this happen with a smile on her face because they deserve this for arriving early when Peter is done Natasha calls him to her side and they head to bed leaving the webbed idiots to be found in the morning

Peter Parker is NOT a fan of (MCU) Steve Rogers. | Peter Parker is a little Shit.

Amused Natasha Romanov. | Clint Barton is NOT amused.

Dysfunctional Family | Mama Spy-der and her Baby Spider

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"Scott, I swear to Thor, if you don't stop asking, I'm going to hit you!"

That caused a couple of the group to turn to look at the man, "You swear to _Thor?_" "_Aww_, that's cute Wilson."

"Yeah, well cap gets that facial twitch like Sheldon from Big Bang, whenever you take the _lord's name in vain._"

"I know, why do you think I do it? I think it's hilarious."

"Thanks Buck, I really _appreciate_ how much you keep me on my toes."

"No, problem punk."

"Oh, geez I think Wanda had the right idea to stay back in Europe."

"No, she stayed because that's where Vision is."

"Regardless, she had the right idea, I should have stayed at home. Instead I'm sneaking around in the dark with a group of morons."

"Why are we sneaking in, in the dark?"

"Uh we're not sneaking in, I just, I miss the beds here, and they are really comfortable."

"Wait so were here early because you're tired of roughing it?"

"Well I… yeah look, we need a place to go. We might be a few days early. And…"

"_And_, what?"

"Nothing. Let's just get a move on."

"Wait, why _are_ all the lights in night mode, if they are expecting us, why are they not fully on."

"Ah, I, didn't…"

"No, _do not_ tell me, you didn't let them know we are coming."

"Okay, I won't."

"God dammit, Rogers, we are breaking into one of the most secured building on the planet with an actual all see, all knowing AI and you are just telling us this NOW?!"

"What's the big deal, FRIDAY knows us, she shouldn't have a problem with us being here."

"Shhh, do you hear that? Sounds like scurrying sound."

"What the hell do you mean a scurrying sound… like rats? I hate rats."

"What the hell happened to the lights?"

"They went out…"

"_No_, really, thanks Captain Obvious."

"I _hate_ that goddamn commercial. I can't believe Nat started that."

"Sound off people."

Thwip, thwip, thwip…

"Hey, where did redwing go?

"Who took my shield?"

"God dammit, give me back my bow!"

Next to Bucky, a voice whisper, "Psst." Bucky swung his metal fist at the sound and suddenly it's stopped by a hand, the amused voice whispering from slightly above him deadpanned, "You have a metal arm? Awesome dude." He found himself on the ground with his arms and legs bound to the ground he realized where he met this person, "Are you fu… mmmmp, grrrr" Bucky suddenly found his mouth covered with the same damn what are they called webs?

Humm… thwip, "What the hell, my shield magnet isn't working.

Thwip, thwip, thwip, thwip… Scott who had been trying to find who or whatever it is, when he found his hands and feet stuck to the wall, "what the hell is th…" thwip "Mmmmp" He tried to reach the button on his suit even though he doesn't have his helmet on, he thinks he can shrink just small enough to get out of the bindings. But found he couldn't reach it.

"What the hell is going on? I can't see anything, where are you Cap?"

"Yeah, I'm here, back to back, something is moving faster than I've ever seen. I think Bucky is down, not sure about Scott… Clint?"

"Shut up, it might be using sound to locate us." Clint said quietly.

Thwip, thwip Clint found himself bound in what feels like a cocoon to the floor. His mouth is covered.

An amused voice whispers near his ear, "Sound has nothing to do with it, Mr. Barton, but I _can_ hear your heart beating. By the way мама паук, isn't very happy with you." Then Clint felt the air shift as the 'voice' went up.

"Cap, I think it's just you and me. I'm guessing you don't have your shield?"

"No, it was taken, and I can't recall it. My device isn't working any more. How about you?"

"I can't locate redwing, my google isn't working. I think we got hit with some sort of EMP."

A voice spoke in between both men. "Mr. Wilson Mr. Rogers you really shouldn't enter someone else's house uninvited. It's rude and potentially dangerous… for you." Thwip, thwip.

Both Steve and Sam found themselves bound by some sort of cocoon to the floor.

* * *

\- (earlier) -

Natasha and Peter had just got done watching one of the shows Peter got her hooked.

She got him hooked on doing a surveillance sweep every night before going to bed.

They had been practicing earlier so Peter is still in his suit without his mask and gloves. He did put his web shooters on when they started, as a habit.

One she is happy he has.

They are heading down the main hall to the rest of the compound. Peter is on the ceiling. She told him that he can get the drop on someone if they try to get in. 98% of people don't look up.

She is doing her usual sweep when Peter suddenly stops and looks towards the entrance and then starts to move quickly towards it.

In surprise she is about to ask what's going on, with Peter's enhanced hearing she can say it quietly and he will hear it. But she hears him tell FRIDAY to kill the lights in the outer hall.

She watched him slip into the hall via the ceiling vents. Knowing she doesn't have his enhanced sight she goes to the closest monitor and has FRIDAY bring up the hallway in night vision.

She sees her team, 6 days early. They are on alert and looking around due to the lights being shut off. She has FRIDAY play back the whole scene and taking a deep sigh, of course Rogers is oblivious to everything.

Clint yelling at him for not calling ahead did make her smile slightly, not enough to warn him, he was stupid enough to come. But at least he's not totally lost his common sense.

She watches as Peter take away the biggest threats in the room. Steve's shield and Sam's drone, lastly Clint's bow. All of whom are not happy about it.

She watches as Peter silently moves down to get Barnes's attention, then takes him out.

While Rogers being enhanced would be the next biggest threat, she knows her baby is saving him for last.

Given what he showed her about what happened between Steve and Tony she's not surprised.

Peter next takes out Scott and keeps him from being able to access his suit functions.

Natasha is very proud of her student. He's using everything she taught him. About threat detection and how to neutralize the threat.

She has to laugh when Peter slides down from the ceiling like the spider he is, he whispers to Clint as he takes him out next.

She has FRIDAY enhance the sound so she can hear what he said.

His sarcasm is far beyond hers; she's learning a thing or two from him about it.

He then takes both Steve and Sam down at the same time. Time to make her presence known.

* * *

Suddenly a very familiar female voice sounding amused said, "FRIDAY slowly bring the lights back up to night mode."

All the people trapped blink their eyes as the light level starts to come up.

Steve looks around to see Sam next to him wrapped in some sort of white rope like bindings. Sam looks fine but surprised.

Sam looks down and something about the bindings is familiar. "Wait I know these ropes…"

"They're called webs, you are all trapped in webs." Natasha said as she stepped fully into the hall they had been walking down.

Steve looks over he had spotted Scott bound to the wall, Clint and Bucky also in their own cocoon. Clint is looking at Steve and it isn't a happy look.

Steve turns his head back to Natasha, "Nat, what's going on?"

"Steve, Peter told you what's going on, you entered someone else's house uninvited. You idiots are 6 days early, and still technically fugitives the rescinding orders have not been officially signed."

"What do you mean someone else's house, we live here. What do you mean uninvited, we were told we could come home? Who is Peter?"

Natasha just shakes her head. She looks up and with a soft smile that none of them except Clint have ever seen on her face. "ребенок паук, come here."

Suddenly a blur drops from the ceiling and Steve can see a boy… young man in a familiar red and blue suit stand up next to Natasha.

She puts her arm around the boy and pulls him to her, she softly tells him. "good job, baby."

The boy… Peter smiled brightly loving when she praises him. "thank you мама паук." Wrapping his arm around her, as he tucks himself against her. She kisses his forehead.

"Wait _mama?_ Did he call you mama?" Sam said looking over, in shock, he recalls the kid from the airport.

Natasha looks at him, her previously warm look turned cold, "мама паук, it's Russian for mama spider. He is my baby spider and I'm his mama spider."

"Nat get us out of this stuff." Steve demanded still not understanding.

"No. It will dissolve in a several hours. By then you can come into our home."

"Nat, please I have to use the bathroom." Steve said.

"Go ahead, the webbing is waterproof." Peter said with a cold look that mirrored what Natasha had on earlier.

"You would leave me, us here?"

Peter's face grew angry as he stepped away from Natasha towards Steve. "You mean just like you left Mr. Stark to die? No, a few hours and pissing on yourself isn't even close."

Steve muttered under his breath, "Damn Stark…" then he looked up to Peter to try and explain, "Look son… mmmmf" Steve found his mouth covered in webs.

"_Don't_ call me son." Peter spat "also Mr. Stark had nothing to do with me finding out, I watched the video… what you didn't know there was a video? Given Mr. Stark had it removed so you wouldn't be prosecuted for attempted murder I'm not surprised. I saw it and showed Nat before he was able to delete it."

Natasha walked over and gently placed a hand on Peter's shoulder.

Peter visibly calmed down and stepped back. Looking guilty at Natasha.

Natasha pulls Peter back to her kissing his brow, "It's okay."

"How did he take us out so fast, in the dark?" Sam asked, he knew the kid was strong and pretty fast from the time at the airport but what he did was unreal.

"Knew thy enemy. Plus, I have enhanced senses. I can see in low light." Peter said.

"FRIDAY keep an eye on all of them, once the webbing is dissolved, they are free to enter."

"Okay agent Romanoff."

"come on baby, let's go to bed. You have class in the morning."

"I can skip… just in case you need me."

Natasha smiled, "Peter you shouldn't skip classes. Tony will be fine."

They turned to go in, she added. "You should talk to Clint and Barnes they can help you with your combat training."

"Okay." Then he smirks, "I can't wait to learn, all of their _creative ways_ of doing things."

Natasha laughs, again surprising the rest of the hall. "You know what, I change my mind you stay away from Clint and Bucky. If anyone is going to corrupt you, it'll be me, despite what Stark thinks."

Peter tucking himself farther into her arm, just smiles at her, "Yes мама паук."

They both walk back into the avengers only area and closed the door. Leaving the rest of them in the hall.

\- the end -


End file.
